Saturday, November 28, 2009


oil on canvas

This painting recently sold and I thought it needed a little refreshing. I've haven't been in front of the easel for almost a week. Holiday crazies, cleaning, reorganizing. A little vaycay I think I needed.

The depression comes and goes, taking with it my confidence. I'm ignoring it and continuing on. Silly. This is what I do and I'm not going to stop, so have at it voice. I found a portrait, while tidying the storage room, that I'd started at least ten years ago.  It was of my former neighbor's two daughters. I remember calling her, ashamed and regretful, explaining the photo wasn't optimal, I'd need to take another, the painting wasn't coming out well. When I found it and examined it, I was stunned! It was fine, nice in fact. It gave me needed insight into my "seeing" problem. Is that a pun? Anyway, I'm keeping it by my easel to remind me how I sabotage myself with spurious negative feedback.

I'm rededicating myself, creating a new schedule and sticking to it. I realized yesterday that any progress or success I've experienced only comes if I'm working. Um...duh. A new schedule, a new attitude, a new acceptance of my need to continually pour that perfect glass of wine and then knock it over. I think we all suffer from this syndrome in some way or another, in different degrees of intensity, depending upon what level of success we allow ourselves in life. I got some great suggestions from artists who suffer from the same setbacks and am going to try each one. A class is a great idea. There's so much I don't know.

It's obviously part of my makeup. I'm accepting being a tad koo-koo. Fighting anything never conquers it. It only makes it more real.


  1. Go, Suzanne, go!!

    Congrats on creating a new schedule and sticking to it!

    Whether you do or not isn't my concern, just the fact that you are trying is what's most important IMHO.


  2. Nothing to fret over, Suzanne. You are doing great work. We artists are way to hard on ourselves. Hope I can keep my words handy for myself

  3. I have not met an artist who could honestly say they weren't "a tad koo-koo", including the one I have long discussions with in the mirror. If we were totally sane we'd all have nice little day jobs with the perfect white picket fence in the front yard and a pocket full of nerve pills.

    A schedule is a GREAT idea. You'll be able to channel your koo-koo-ness into an alotted time frame where you can purge, perform and progress; all while creating wonderful art.

    I just realized something as I was typing this: I think this Candy Corn painting is one of the first times I commented on your work on ArtScuttleButt. I think we missed our one-year-online-buddies-anniversary. So let me tell you belatedly, Happy Anniversary Buddy!


  4. Comforting truth...we all have a "tad koo-koo." And there are those who see it, maybe try to hide it, and fight it and those who either embrace it or live in blissful ignorance of it. I, too, am the first one. Thank you again for sharing.

  5. Life is tough as it is, please don't be tough on yourself. hugs!

  6. I think a little rest is always welcome. I think a lot of us are hard on ourselves and really criticise our art. Just the fact that the art depends entirely on ourselves, our creativity and our hard work means every single choice we make is questionable. At the end of the day we show the world our 'talent' much like an actor or musician.
    Its perfectly normal to struggle and be dissatisfied sometimes, this is the logical way to progress and better ourselves.
    But make no mistake Suzanne you have a LOT of talent. Every sale you make, every commission you take on and every positive comment should be taken on board to balance any negative thoughts. So keep it up and well done on the sale!

  7. beautiful work, Suzanne!
    all of it, almost photographic, until
    i zoom in - and then i appreciate it even more!


  8. Dean, thank you! It's a tad shakey so far but if I move back to my studio, I think it'll be easier to keep away from the pups and get some work done. Off to look at your blog and see what incredible work you've done lately. Thanks again.

    Gary, thanks. I really needed go gain some perspective and reading your blog was just what I needed. Thank you, you are an inspiration.

    Don, again you are too cool! Happy Anniversary to you too! How cool is that? And it's nice to know my koo-koo is in good company! Thank you!

    Ariel, thank you! I worry sometimes that my constant angst might get tedious, but you're so right, you can't fix what you don't acknowledge. Thank you so much for your kind words.

    Sheila, you always say what I need to hear. Thank you. Hugs right back!

    Sam, thank you so much. Your words make a LOT of sense and I will remember them. Thank you for your kind and very generous comment and very wise advice. Your work continues to be an inspiration!

    Chuck, I so appreciate your comment, thank you!


Your visits to my blog and the comments you leave here are an integral part of my creative process. They are helpful, supportive and well, let's face it, they feel really good! If I don't thank you personally, please allow me to thank you in advance for taking the time to stop by and leave your thoughts, they mean so much!