SLEEVE DRAWING

12x14" charcoal on paper

This drawing is so old, it was done for the sleeve of an album! A vinyl album!! Waaaaay before it was cool to buy vinyl again! Found it among the stuff from the "art closet".

I was part of an ad agency started by one of my fellow designers at work, and a band that was popular in our area asked him to design the album art. I was tapped to do the illustrations. I remember being terrified...gee what a surprise...but was surprisingly satisfied with the results. There are about five other drawings that might or might not be safely hidden away somewhere but I remember this being one of my favorites. Clearly, the problem with hands is present...his head dwarfs his digits...but I like the overall feeling and line quality.

I'm finding a new state of mind evolving from the practice of showing up for work each day in the studio. It's so weird having something you wished for most of your life but only because something else you wished for most of your life is gone. And I don't mean that in any maudlin, tragic way. Tim might not be visible, but I trust my instincts, he is here...he is most definitely here.

This studio space is doing a lot for my confidence in surprising ways. I find that I'm much neater and respectful of my space and supplies. I try to get all my chores done before it's time to report to the studio and if I don't they're done afterward. I show up showered, shiny and ready to work. I work for four to five hours and actually take brakes to refresh the senses. I wash brushes and put things away only at the proper quitting time. And so far, once a week the space is properly cleaned, from dusting to washing the floor. Who knows? Someday I might become a real professional!

I'm also devoting time to really learning to play guitar better. Admittedly, I'm one of those hackers. However, learning just enough to impress is no longer working for me thank goodness. I've spent a fortune on DVD, CD and online lessons, why not take advantage of them instead of hiring someone to come and show me how well I might be able to play one day if I work at it? 

I'm finding that in both creative endeavors, concentrating on the art and the music and not the personality making them is keeping all the old voices and doubts very quiet. And oddly enough, after a day creating, practicing and reading, when I walk through the house that sense of sadness is gone. I feel Tim so much closer on the days that I contribute to the fullness of my life than on the days when I'm choking the life out of the remote and wondering why I didn't stock up on pistachio nuts and white wine. Have you tried Cupcake Wine by the way? Two words. Angel Food. I'll say no more.

Got another "Morning Walk" almost done. Stuck on the road again. In this reference shot the road looks so different. I'm wondering if I should attempt to translate what I see or fall back to the treatment of the road on the first painting. We'll see. Also finally finishing up a commission that's been here so long the client gave Tim the reference to bring home almost two years ago!

How wonderful would it be if he were here to take it back?