Monday, May 11, 2015

I THINK IT'S BACK!





















"BABY BLU refreshed"
oil on linen 24x20"

Well that happened! The other day while tidying up I suddenly felt a strong urge to paint! Finally!! I ventured into the store room—very scary, what a mess—there's a dent in this canvas because of said mess—looking for some large canvases to prepare and saw this painting of Blu from June 2011. Tim was still here then! Sigh.

Anyway, it struck me that if I worked on a piece already established I would be able to bypass the procrastination and false starts that usually pop up when standing before any empty blank canvas. It worked! In no time I was boldly splashing on a background...which has always bothered me. The interesting point about this particular painting is that I considered it completed back then, however as I continued to work on it and it came together, at last that familiar yet elusive wave of joy passed over me and I was involved and enjoying myself.

The fear was gone, the timidness evaporated. I didn't equate the outcome with self-worth and I believe for an instant or two, I actually felt to my soul that none of this mattered...not one tiny bit. Oh in the material world, "why haven't you been working, what's wrong with you" kind of way, of course it matters but in the big picture, in a universal sense, it absolutely doesn't matter at all so have at it Suz and have fun! And I did.

The trick is believing that when a painting isn't working for me but I think I'll get there.

I am pleased with the finished version but not altogether unhappy with the original. As I said, the background always bothered me, visually it didn't read "casual oil sketch"  but messy vertical lines for no reason, so I think the version on the right is more what I'm looking for now. Either way, I'm elated to have that desire back again and whatever coddling I need to do in order to keep it going... I'll do!

I think accepting the void and not fighting it is key. Since "IT" happened I've learned to accept the present moment more and more. The pain comes from resisting it. As I worked I listened to Eckhart Tolle's "The Open Door" session. We often think if we resist what's happening it will somehow protect us from the pain it will inevitably cause. "This shouldn't be happening! I refuse to accept it!" The very simple and obvious reply...But it is happening!

Apologies to the kind folks who left comments on my last post. I haven't returned the compliment as yet but I will. I so appreciate your support and sharing, it helps on so many levels and thank you so for dropping by!



20 comments:

  1. I'm so glad the "desire" came back to paint, Suzanne. I was in a rut and now I'm back! We just needed time away?! It's amazing to see both paintings next to each other for comparison. The new version is amazing ...the background makes a big difference. Now he stands out so beautifully!

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  2. See! See! Told ya! Blu is Fabulous!

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  3. First of all, lovely little Blu update. What a sweetie. I like the background change, its soft and doesn't distract from his little face.

    Second, its great that inspiration is rearing its head again. I swear we're in sync Suz, as mine's just coming back too and I just wrote a blog post about it!

    You hit it on the head, its the resistance that causes the angst. But I gotta say, when it comes back its sooooooooooo good isn't it?

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  4. What an awesome, awesome painting!! Thanks for sharing your challenges. Welcome back!

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  5. the painting is so good, it's beautiful.
    :)

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  6. This is such a gorgeous piece. I believe it was just there, waiting for you to 'complete' when you were ready for it. Sisters under the skin in terms of the 'scary storage room', I admire your bravery in just GOING IN there! I agree, I like both pieces, for different reasons. The first one has a rougher feel and the new one has a lovely blue background which propels the sweet baby face forward. Enjoy, girl. Just be.

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  7. I love what you did to refresh Baby Blu. It works beautifully! yep the universe is unfolding as it should.

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  8. Love this little guy! Glad you are coming to terms with painting or not painting - it's not you and shouldn't define you because it's just a part of what you do. Anyway, love this one :)

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  9. I absolutely...absolutely.....love this! Welcome back, Suz! You are brilliant!

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  10. Absolutely awesome! So beautifully painted, thanks for sharing and I'm glad you are back. I love your work:)

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  13. Well you already know how I feel about this beautiful piece of art... It is truly breath taking. And I am SO happy you have found your spark! Long may it last!! :0)

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  14. Both versions are exquisite! For some reason, the blued grey background makes Blu look sweeter and softer to me. And I am damn glad you are painting!!!!!
    The Gunk

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  15. Lovely work. So happy to see you took the original on and made it better. Just lovely.

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  16. This is lovely, Suzanne. Keep up the good work!

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  17. Blu is such a handsome boy, Suz. I love both versions, quite honestly. The background gives each version a different sort of feel, don't they? Glad you found your mojo again; it hurts to not see Suz Berry paintings as they are things of beauty!

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  18. We would not be growing or should I say, evolving with our art, if we did not see a new way to improve a painting we were not entirely satisfied with. You assessed it right - the lined effect in the background was okay but maybe did detract from the focus on the face of Blu. Using a hint of the color of his name was also a neat touch.
    I understand your pleasure of painting with joy once again. I am very happy for you, dear Suz.

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  19. Oh Blu,,, your momma loves you soo much!!
    We love this Suz,,, just love it,, We loved the way it was,, and now love this!!!
    love
    tweedles

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