Tuesday, September 1, 2009
LITTLE GIRL 2
pencil on paper
When I sit down to work, whether it's a painting or a drawing, I get so uncomfortable my fight or flight response kicks in. I overheat, my stomach turns, a mini-panic attack ensues and the knee is goin' a mile a minute. The first couple of pencil lines or strokes of paint, I'm positive this will be a failure. I whisper to myself, "ya think this might end well?" A resounding NO ricochets off every corner of my brain and I give in and hunker down, preparing myself for failure.
Some minutes later the brush, or pencil in this case, begins to feel good in my hand. The lead glides along the textured paper, suddenly I have no problem with directional shading, which I believe I'm incapable of. At this point, I see that it might just be postable and another mini-attack makes itself known. Beads of sweat trickle from my forehead. I'm certain I'll ruin the drawing with my next line. I dance around the paper, trying to finish without touching lead to surface. I decide not to do a finished drawing and make the space work with the features I've drawn. I admonish myself for copping out and then give myself credit for trying a different approach.
It's done. I can post. No wonder I blew off that drawing a day promise I made last month.