oil on canvas
This painting recently sold and I thought it needed a little refreshing. I've haven't been in front of the easel for almost a week. Holiday crazies, cleaning, reorganizing. A little vaycay I think I needed.
The depression comes and goes, taking with it my confidence. I'm ignoring it and continuing on. Silly. This is what I do and I'm not going to stop, so have at it voice. I found a portrait, while tidying the storage room, that I'd started at least ten years ago. It was of my former neighbor's two daughters. I remember calling her, ashamed and regretful, explaining the photo wasn't optimal, I'd need to take another, the painting wasn't coming out well. When I found it and examined it, I was stunned! It was fine, nice in fact. It gave me needed insight into my "seeing" problem. Is that a pun? Anyway, I'm keeping it by my easel to remind me how I sabotage myself with spurious negative feedback.
I'm rededicating myself, creating a new schedule and sticking to it. I realized yesterday that any progress or success I've experienced only comes if I'm working. Um...duh. A new schedule, a new attitude, a new acceptance of my need to continually pour that perfect glass of wine and then knock it over. I think we all suffer from this syndrome in some way or another, in different degrees of intensity, depending upon what level of success we allow ourselves in life. I got some great suggestions from artists who suffer from the same setbacks and am going to try each one. A class is a great idea. There's so much I don't know.
It's obviously part of my makeup. I'm accepting being a tad koo-koo. Fighting anything never conquers it. It only makes it more real.