OCTOBER REFRESHED

5x5"

oil on canvas

sold

This painting recently sold and I thought it needed a little refreshing. I've haven't been in front of the easel for almost a week. Holiday crazies, cleaning, reorganizing. A little vaycay I think I needed.

The depression comes and goes, taking with it my confidence. I'm ignoring it and continuing on. Silly. This is what I do and I'm not going to stop, so have at it voice. I found a portrait, while tidying the storage room, that I'd started at least ten years ago.  It was of my former neighbor's two daughters. I remember calling her, ashamed and regretful, explaining the photo wasn't optimal, I'd need to take another, the painting wasn't coming out well. When I found it and examined it, I was stunned! It was fine, nice in fact. It gave me needed insight into my "seeing" problem. Is that a pun? Anyway, I'm keeping it by my easel to remind me how I sabotage myself with spurious negative feedback.

I'm rededicating myself, creating a new schedule and sticking to it. I realized yesterday that any progress or success I've experienced only comes if I'm working. Um...duh. A new schedule, a new attitude, a new acceptance of my need to continually pour that perfect glass of wine and then knock it over. I think we all suffer from this syndrome in some way or another, in different degrees of intensity, depending upon what level of success we allow ourselves in life. I got some great suggestions from artists who suffer from the same setbacks and am going to try each one. A class is a great idea. There's so much I don't know.

It's obviously part of my makeup. I'm accepting being a tad koo-koo. Fighting anything never conquers it. It only makes it more real.

KENS...AGAIN

 8x10"

oil on linen/board

sold

My client wanted me to touch up the copy on the label and finish it. I of course, being crazy, decided to do it over. I've learned two valuable lessons from this commission. I'm really not at all good at painting objects on demand. And by that I mean the experience, not the result. I thought I'd enjoy it and it would be easy for me. It turned out to be the opposite. I'm proud to present this to my client, but the experience wasn't what I'd expected. I'm finding my painting career isn't static, it will change and it will grow, but only if I accept that I have limitations and that I should paint what inspires me. That said, I am grateful for the commission, the experience and all I've learned from it.

BUMMER!

11x14"

pencil on paper

$75

In search of new subject matter, a concept, a theme, something that I simply can't wait to sit down and paint. Until then, I guess it's floating faces.

We've settled on names for the pups. Raz and Blu. It was Red and Blu, because we couldn't decide on final names so we started identifying them by the color or their collars. I wasn't a big fan of either name until sometime yesterday afternoon I realized how well they worked with our last name! Nothin' gets by me. So Red became Raz. However, we're in talks now to possibly change Blu to Dingle.

Bummer!
11" x 14" (28.0cm x 35.6cm)
pencil on paper
$75 plus $12.95 shipping and handling in the US
E-mail me for International shipping rates or other inquiries.

LINKS LIST DELETED!

I admit it. A geek I am not. I got used to using creative programs at work, but now, I'm overwhelmed with list, links, posts, forums, adding gadgets, editing groups and on and on. Apparently during one of my ill conceived attempts to add something I inadvertently deleted my link list! A million apologies to everyone. Please let me know if you'd like to be included again. I'm going through my old posts and retrieving some names but please contact me if I've left you out or you'd like to be included. Thanks!

MOSES-BOTKIN CHALLENGE - November

The Diana Moses Botkin Challenge for November is "the view outside my studio," chosen this month by Michael Naples. A great choice of subject matter, but I was stumped. My proper studio, a studio I spent lots of time and money renovating, is downstairs, on the first floor. An ideal location for raising young pups and logging long hours on paintings in progress wouldn't one think? However, I've chosen to remain upstairs, dealing with stairs, a bad knee, two pups and paint on everything, including our quilt and my face. It just feels better up there right now and little Suzanne has acted up quite enough this month, I thought it best to just give her what she wants right now.

Anyway, I found some really nice bushes outside, underneath the bedroom window that caught my eye. And technically, if I open the window, stick my head out and look down, there they are!

I absolutely love the different views from the group's studios this month! So varied and so well done. I'm honored to be a member and I might have done everything correctly this month! Yea!

SOLD

The View 4x6” Original oil on hardboard

©2009 Diana Moses Botkin
http://dianamosesbotkin.blogspot.com/

Green Belt  8x8” watercolor on paper

©2009 Robin Cheers
http://robincheers.blogspot.com/

Studio View  8x8.5”  oil on canvas

©2009 Silvina Day
http://studio280.blogspot.com/

Studio View 24x18” oil on canvas

©2009 Marie Fox
http://mariefoxpaintingaday.blogspot.com/

Electric Highway 8x8” oil on board
©2009 Michael Naples
http://michaelnaples.blogspot.com/

View from my Studio 8x10” oil on panel
©2009 Vicki Ross
http://vickiandrandyrossart.blogspot.com/

NOVEMBER CHALLANGE TOMORROW

The Moses-Botkin Challenge for November will be posted tomorrow. Please stop by and check out the group's answer to this month's challenge. This is great fun, I think I've got a shot at doing everything right this month! We'll see.

WHOOPS!

11x14"

pencil on paper

$75

I made this face in an effort to spell the sound my mouth produced. It wasn't Whoops! Really, just how would one spell that sound?

The depression has lifted. Himself gave me a pup break all weekend past and I was back to my old, marginally cranky self in no time! Seeing the impact not working has on my fragile hold on peace, I took the pups by the horn and reclaimed my days this week! They now revolve around my schedule. I'm still judging and critical of myself, but am not taking it seriously. I keep thinking of what Crash Davis said to Ebbie Calvin "Nuke" Laloush in Bull Durham..."don't think, it'll only hurt the team!"

Whoops!
11" x 14" (28.0cm x 35.6cm)
pencil on paper
$75 plus $12.5 shipping and handling in the US
E-mail me for International shipping rates or other inquiries.

OOoo, I'm Tellin!

11x14"

pencil on paper

$75

It was always me, directing this dire warning to my big brother, but he never seemed to mind getting in trouble. Off to work on another painting.

Ooo, I'm Tellin!
11" x 14" (28.0cm x 35.6cm)
pencil on paper
$75 plus $12.5 shipping and handling in the US
E-mail me for International shipping rates or other inquiries.

EWOOOO!

11x14"

pencil on paper

$75

This should have accompanied yesterday's post. I love doing these, they're fun and quick and satisfying. I feel so much better. Thanks again.

Ewoooo
11" x 14" (28.0cm x 35.6cm)
pencil on paper
$75 plus $12.5 shipping and handling in the US
E-mail me for International shipping rates or other inquiries.

THANK YOU!

First, I'd like to apologize for my ravings yesterday. Never post in a mood like that. Thank you all so very much for the comments of support and gentle admonishment. I needed both! I have the uncanny ability to behave like a ten year old brat from time to time. I have so very much to be grateful for, especially art.  No more whining. Just more painting.

THAT FREAKIN' APPLE!

6x6"

oil on board

NFS

You're sitting in front of the easel thinking, let me just dash off an apple. Simple enough. At least you'll have a painting to post. The pups just went out, so they should brawl in their little playpen and give you at least one hour, uninterrupted. This'll be good. It'll get you outta that funky mood, the one that covers you in doubt like a thin transparent film of filth, dulling your vision and sealing up your ears to any sanity that might try to squeak through and knock you upside the head and out of the pity pot.

Well here it is. That freakin' apple! Been working on it for 3 weeks on and off. And it sucks. I need to get this out. I know it seems ridiculous. It's a painting of an apple. Surely not your best Suz, but hey, it's ok. If you are an artist I'm guessing you know what I'm talking about. If you've read my blog at all you know I'm a walking poster child for insecurity and doubt, always lamenting the loss of my mojo. I even received a very passionate email from someone admonishing me, albeit gently, for even uttering the words "I can't paint anymore!" This person's mother was a gifted artist until surgery went dreadfully wrong and made it impossible for her to work— ever again. That definitely gave me pause and made me even more guilty about this latest session of nonsense and waste 'o time.

I felt stupid trying to explain to her that those feelings of dread, of the seeming loss of one's ability, however false they might be in reality, feel very real. Stupid? Yes. I know I'm responsible for what I think and feel. Thoughts cannot just show up. And they all have a purpose. And if I don't take steps to curtail this flight of fancy into the dark place, I'm really going to be extremely unhappy, not to mention hopelessly behind.

So I'm posting this freakin apple. I'm not going to melt, disappear, or spontaneously combust if I post work that I think isn't good. I should make it a point of posting everything I do, good, bad or indifferent. I need to laugh at this stuff. These standards I'm holding myself to are ridiculously high, not to mention arrogant and methinks I'm not the only one sick and tired of my constant whining. I'm so very tired of this dance, obviously I can paint.

It's nothing but a smokescreen of doubt so that when the smoke does clear, there I'll be, on the bed, Pug on each shoulder — one eating my hair, the other still bent on extracting milk from my ear lobe, remote in one hand, bag of chips in the other and depression, solidly and "happily" in place. I think it would be a lot easier if I just put the brush down, laughed off the doubt and insecurity and watched the tube until I felt better, providing I felt better within the next hour that is.

Maybe I'll try that the next time.

HOW MUCH?

11x14"

pencil on paper

$75

I can't seem to finish a painting these days. It's impossible to jump up and down from the easel and keep some kind of flow creatively, so I'm going to commit to drawings...again...until I can finish some of the pieces I'm working on. This time I think I'll honor my commitment, I really need to post.

How Much?
11" x 14" (28.0cm x 35.6cm)
pencil on paper
$75 plus $12.5 shipping and handling in the US
E-mail me for International shipping rates or other inquiries.

ON THE EASEL - THE VASE

Strangeness. I'm all over the place. This is a painting in progress for Six by Six in NYC. Amazing setup, that. I read about it on another artist's blog and decided to send for the kit. I'm a big fan of packaging and the way this arrives is too cool! Beautifully designed and  just plain fun.  And the canvas surface is perfect. I'm going to take my time and do this right. Layers, stages, patience, remaining true to my reference color value etc. See what happens. I'll be posting the stages to see how it goes.

I've been very critical of myself...again. I really haven't been working enough. Graphic design jobs were coming in and I was grateful, but they were a rush, they dragged on with multiple revisions and compensation was far too slow. I was whining about not having enough time to paint and himself came up with an amazing  solution! He suggested I remove myself from the free-lance arena and concentrate on painting. All day! I was thrilled, I felt free and couldn't wait to start and end the day painting. Of course the first day I did that, I sat in front of the easel and did a lot of heaving sighing and not much else. Surprise!

Another dry spell. Whatever. Self imposed, like all my pain and frustration. Feel the poop and move on. Even I'm getting a tad weary of my all consuming artist angst. What's the big deal? Just paint.

The pups are really a handful. I'm following a schedule but they are taking up a lot more time than I anticipated. But they passed the button test, with flying colors, so that's cool. What is the button test you ask? Whenever I make a life-changing decision, and for me the pups were just that, I visualize a big button, not unlike the Staples big "easy" button. Each week that passes after the big change has taken place, I see the button in my minds eye and ask myself the simple question..."If I could push this button and -  fill in the blank -  would disappear from view and memory with no consequences, would I push it?" Absolutely not! I do ask myself at 5:30 in the morning, on a dark, dreary, rainy, nasty day...Ok, just what the hell were we thinking, but that's only because they think rain is kryptonite  for dogs and refuse to do their business. Not fun. Other than that they are pure joy.