Tuesday, May 26, 2015


8x8" oil on canvas

Still working and having a good time! And right now, that's all that counts. I'm stayin' out of my head and taking note that when I listen to the ego shrieking I cannot be concentrating on what I'm doing! That right there is 90% of the problem I think. I've literally begun talking myself through each stroke and next step. It's interesting and keeps me focused on what I'm doing, not what I think about it. Nice.

It's nothing short of dee-lightful to look out of the studio window and see leaves on the trees, hear the birds singing, the sprinklers going. Gotta be the spring!

Anyway, had a commission to do of a pup and although I found the reference wasn't optimal I think it came out okay. It did give me a chance to dust off my artistic license though. Imagine my surprise... it hadn't expired!

This is Moe. I hope the giftee was pleased.

I am excited about what's on the easel next. I am a devout lover of shellfish, especially steamers. When I bought some the other day, I noticed, as they sat patiently in the sink awaiting a good rinse, that there were some incredible colors and shapes going on so I snapped a few and have one in mind to begin tomorrow.

Sure feels good. I'm grateful but with all my spouting about "my thoughts creating my experience" —apparently the lull is all my doing. Gee Suz...ya think? But, see... therein lies the rub. Does one go all military on oneself, attempting to force creativity or does one wait out the drought—accept what is and wait patiently and optimistically until it's over? Probably no hard rule to that. Depends on the individual. I'm not the least bit disciplined so I would think it's rather easy for 'lil suz to give in and grab the remote more often than not. Still.


Anyway, I need to say this. I am more in love with Timothy Francis Berry than I was yesterday or the day before and I haven't laid eyes on the man in 3 years, 3 months and 3 days. He continues to make his presence known in the most surprising and clever ways. I am so very fortunate!

Thanks so much for dropping by, it means a lot!

Monday, May 11, 2015


"BABY BLU refreshed"
oil on linen 24x20"

Well that happened! The other day while tidying up I suddenly felt a strong urge to paint! Finally!! I ventured into the store room—very scary, what a mess—there's a dent in this canvas because of said mess—looking for some large canvases to prepare and saw this painting of Blu from June 2011. Tim was still here then! Sigh.

Anyway, it struck me that if I worked on a piece already established I would be able to bypass the procrastination and false starts that usually pop up when standing before any empty blank canvas. It worked! In no time I was boldly splashing on a background...which has always bothered me. The interesting point about this particular painting is that I considered it completed back then, however as I continued to work on it and it came together, at last that familiar yet elusive wave of joy passed over me and I was involved and enjoying myself.

The fear was gone, the timidness evaporated. I didn't equate the outcome with self-worth and I believe for an instant or two, I actually felt to my soul that none of this mattered...not one tiny bit. Oh in the material world, "why haven't you been working, what's wrong with you" kind of way, of course it matters but in the big picture, in a universal sense, it absolutely doesn't matter at all so have at it Suz and have fun! And I did.

The trick is believing that when a painting isn't working for me but I think I'll get there.

I am pleased with the finished version but not altogether unhappy with the original. As I said, the background always bothered me, visually it didn't read "casual oil sketch"  but messy vertical lines for no reason, so I think the version on the right is more what I'm looking for now. Either way, I'm elated to have that desire back again and whatever coddling I need to do in order to keep it going... I'll do!

I think accepting the void and not fighting it is key. Since "IT" happened I've learned to accept the present moment more and more. The pain comes from resisting it. As I worked I listened to Eckhart Tolle's "The Open Door" session. We often think if we resist what's happening it will somehow protect us from the pain it will inevitably cause. "This shouldn't be happening! I refuse to accept it!" The very simple and obvious reply...But it is happening!

Apologies to the kind folks who left comments on my last post. I haven't returned the compliment as yet but I will. I so appreciate your support and sharing, it helps on so many levels and thank you so for dropping by!