Monday, September 30, 2013
24x24" oil on Fine Belgian Linen
His actual birthday is October 1st, but I'm posting today. I've been wanting to paint his portrait again and I felt the time was right so I decided to do one for his birthday. We weren't fond of having our photos taken so there is, unfortunately, a limited supply of snaps to choose from, however I did find one that hit the sweet spot. The reference shot for this portrait was taken very soon after we found each other, he's wearing that striped shirt that I loved so much.
His second birthday after leaving his earth suit behind finds us doing fairly well. As I've said in previous posts, I've decided to fully embrace his presence and chat with him constantly, even as I watch TV shows, movies and documentaries I know we'd enjoy together. I would give anything to hear him talk over the dialog the way he used to. We were forever rewinding.
Again, hopefully, I haven't overstayed my welcome with my endless anecdotes and stories about how incredible he was. To this day, he is without doubt, the nicest human being I've ever met. Of course, he got angry, like the rest of us, but it was always a controlled, low key kind of anger. I remember once at work, something happened and he looked at me and said, very calmly..."I'm seething right now." Oh, really, I quipped...how can you tell? As one would expect with Tim, he was amused.
I miss his physical presence in a way that defies explanation but his spirit is ever present. I carry a printout of the session I had with the famous medium George Anderson in my journal and read it when I feel the need to. It's the most amazing document. Even now, it's difficult to wrap my mind around it. Basically, it is that "one more phone call" or that "one last visit" we beg the Universe for when a loved one passes away. It's a gift I know he found a way to give me so I would understand that he's perfectly fine and know he is always near.
I'd like to share this one section George related that day that really touched my heart if you don't mind:
"....he's still very positive, good with people. Just meeting him this way, you can feel he's very likeable, very tranquil over there, very peaceful. I'd have to say that if someone on this side didn't like him for some reason...I'd have to say that it's their problem because he's just such a wonderful spirit!"
That was only one of many indicators that Tim did indeed join us in the room that day. The whole thing still freaks me out a bit, still gives me the chills, every time I read it. And I don't read it as often as one would imagine, it's a lot to take in.
Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for your continued support, caring and wonderful comments, about my work and about Tim. They are appreciated and treasured more than you can know.
I have the distinct feeling that my posts will be much brighter from here on in...mostly!
Thursday, September 19, 2013
Sunday, September 15, 2013
Friday, September 6, 2013
30x30" oil on heavyweight canvas
I've never painted a flower. Leaves yes, but not a flower. I've always wanted to, but just couldn't seem to snap the right photo of one. There are hundreds in my file, you'd think I'd find one that hit the sweet spot. But no. Heavy sigh. So it was off to a stock site to make a purchase. Glad I gave in, it was fun.
This really isn't finished, it's one of those paintings that could go on forever, but I decided to call it because, not to break form, I'm way behind.
I also discovered that I have been growing as an artist! Who knew? Back in the day, I would have painted each one of those curly french fries in the center, one by one—shadow, mid tone and highlight! Instead, I found the darkest shade and splashed that in and then when that was dry I picked out the shapes with lighter shades.
Also, I found some great brushes there as well. I've written before about trying to extend the life of my brushes but basically, if you use them, they deteriorate. These new Princeton Catalyst Polytip Brushes seem to be just what I've been looking for. They feel wonderful on the canvas and clean up doesn't seem to be disturbing their 'do! Nice. We'll see.
I cannot believe that summer is almost over! My second summer without Tim physically here was strange. Last year, I guess I was still in shock, plus there was construction going on most of the time. The confusion and distractions helped. This summer however, it was left to me to keep myself busy and out of the pity pot.
I failed these last few weeks but that's cool. The good news is that I feel him here all the time and have embraced the reality of his presence more often than not. Sometimes though, it's back to the "real" world and the emptiness and silence. But it doesn't last long. I realize there is nothing to be sad about. He's much happier, in fact he's perfect and he's here! Where's the problem? Yeah, I know it needs work. But, it's a choice. Reach for the good feelings, the bad ones don't serve any purpose that I can see.
Sometimes they seem to be interacting with someone that I cannot see. Gee... I wonder who that could be?
Thank you for stopping by, your support and comments continue to help me grow.