Thursday, April 25, 2013


12x14" charcoal on paper

This drawing is so old, it was done for the sleeve of an album! A vinyl album!! Waaaaay before it was cool to buy vinyl again! Found it among the stuff from the "art closet".

I was part of an ad agency started by one of my fellow designers at work, and a band that was popular in our area asked him to design the album art. I was tapped to do the illustrations. I remember being terrified...gee what a surprise...but was surprisingly satisfied with the results. There are about five other drawings that might or might not be safely hidden away somewhere but I remember this being one of my favorites. Clearly, the problem with hands is present...his head dwarfs his digits...but I like the overall feeling and line quality.

I'm finding a new state of mind evolving from the practice of showing up for work each day in the studio. It's so weird having something you wished for most of your life but only because something else you wished for most of your life is gone. And I don't mean that in any maudlin, tragic way. Tim might not be visible, but I trust my instincts, he is here...he is most definitely here.

This studio space is doing a lot for my confidence in surprising ways. I find that I'm much neater and respectful of my space and supplies. I try to get all my chores done before it's time to report to the studio and if I don't they're done afterward. I show up showered, shiny and ready to work. I work for four to five hours and actually take brakes to refresh the senses. I wash brushes and put things away only at the proper quitting time. And so far, once a week the space is properly cleaned, from dusting to washing the floor. Who knows? Someday I might become a real professional!

I'm also devoting time to really learning to play guitar better. Admittedly, I'm one of those hackers. However, learning just enough to impress is no longer working for me thank goodness. I've spent a fortune on DVD, CD and online lessons, why not take advantage of them instead of hiring someone to come and show me how well I might be able to play one day if I work at it? 

I'm finding that in both creative endeavors, concentrating on the art and the music and not the personality making them is keeping all the old voices and doubts very quiet. And oddly enough, after a day creating, practicing and reading, when I walk through the house that sense of sadness is gone. I feel Tim so much closer on the days that I contribute to the fullness of my life than on the days when I'm choking the life out of the remote and wondering why I didn't stock up on pistachio nuts and white wine. Have you tried Cupcake Wine by the way? Two words. Angel Food. I'll say no more.

Got another "Morning Walk" almost done. Stuck on the road again. In this reference shot the road looks so different. I'm wondering if I should attempt to translate what I see or fall back to the treatment of the road on the first painting. We'll see. Also finally finishing up a commission that's been here so long the client gave Tim the reference to bring home almost two years ago!

How wonderful would it be if he were here to take it back?


  1. Ah Suz...I always love hearing from you. I too like your album sleeve drawing. And I love hearing how you are filling your days. I believe it is exactly how I'd fill mine if I were able to be home. I so often wish I didn't have to work but admit I like having the income too.

  2. Suz, I love seeing the pieces from the past. It gives a glimpse of how you arrived at the present. You've said just enough in this piece to fill in all that's unsaid. Your work and your words inspire me, my friend. Ever grateful for that.
    And Cupcake Wine? I'm on it!

  3. It's a wonderful drawing! Gosh - when I dig out something from the past, more often than not I am filled with horror and the immediate urge to hide it, lol!
    I am so glad you are enjoying your studio space and your life is beginning to adapt to a new routine... I think that is so important! And it is wonderful that you are stretching your creative and musical side again. It can only help you during this long healing process xx

  4. Nothing to be sad about in the road your life has taken, Suz. Your artwork, then and now, is wonderfully done; and perhaps you'll add a little guitar pickin' video for us when you feel up to it. I, too, was a hack (don't even practice or pick the thing up anymore). I tried lessons with my BIL (who is a professional musician) but all he did was talk to me each time and I still had to come home and practice! ha ha Laziness gets me - and then I whine about my fingers getting sore - again - but maybe it's time to go back and start anew. Looking forward to your next post and sending you good thoughts today! Cupcake Wine? Ummm, maybe not for me! ha ha

  5. Loved your post and it really sounds like you have found a nice routine with the studio! By the way, love Cupcake chardonnay.

  6. Your work was always amazing, Suzanne! This drawing was very Artsy and perfect for a sleeve of an album. I'm really looking forward to your next painting! far as Tim, he "will" be with you when you take the painting back!!!

  7. Hi Suz
    Its me Tweedles... I came to check on you and say hi,, and see what you have been doing,,, cause you always surprise us,,,
    and I wanted to say you may not feel like you are a ray of sunshine -but you are to us. Thank you for talking from your heart and being real- cause you have many words that help us,,, and one more thing,,,
    we love this painting and it makes our heart sing when we see you did a post... cause we love you more than words can say.
    your tweedles

  8. So fun to see your earlier work: lots of good skill here in this little study. It's so nice to be able to look at older stuff and see what's wrong with it. If only we'd been able to do that, then.

    I'm very impressed with your studio habits, especially the weekly cleaning. Inspiring!

    And the new painting looks like it is coming along wonderfully. I can't wait to see how it all evolves.


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