Monday, June 10, 2013


Those Cups  5x7" oil on board

It's been a while. My apologies, I hit quite the little grief bubble there for a bit. Plus the Dread Mahockiss reared it's ugly head again and I was stripped of any creative ability whatsoever for a week or so. If you've been a follower, you'll recall that the Dread Mahockiss is the name I've given to those stretches of time when one feels abandoned by their muse, has completely forgotten what to do with a paintbrush and avoids even being in the same vicinity of a blank canvas.

Funny, I thought all that nonsense would be a non-issue after losing Tim. It took a while but it's back. Yes, I know it's all in my head and my choice and I should ignore it and was sure I would when and if it reappeared...but... Not!

I'm sure it's a reaction to the new studio, showing up for work each day on time and staying until quittin' time. I think I needed to miss working again if that makes any sense. Whatever, not going to spend a lot of time whining about it. What? Oh...too late! Sorry.

I found this in the store room, half finished. I remember trying to paint alla prima on board and post the same day and I also remember the state that little exercise put me in. What a brat! I'm still not feelin the surface, at all, but it's done. Guess I'm still in a mood, I'm not happy with it, but then that's normal for me.

If I sound a little pathetic I apologize. Spent the second of what will probably be more than a few wedding anniversaries, without himself. It. Sucked. Big. Time. But I had wine and a lovely conversation with him. I must say, I'm still not used to him being this quiet!

But, that said, still I know I have so very much to be grateful for. Our time together was magical and will be again. The boys are just incredible and so much company and I've made so many new friends, here and online. And I want to keep myself a vibrational match to all the good things I imagine, so I climbed out of the pity pot and am on solid ground again.

I hope everyone is well and enjoying the beginning of summer.

Happy Anniversary Northport! You are loved and missed so very much.


  1. Thought you might have been "ridin' around in a blue funk." But those cups are beautiful! I do hope someday you'll be able to look back at this post and see their elegance without the memory of sorrowful side of it glaring back at you. They really are beautiful.

  2. Ahh the Dread Mahockiss, how well we all know it when it comes to visit and always overstays its welcome. Its the strangest phenomenon that is gut wrenching when it does happen and usually allows in an avalanche of ideas when it leaves.

    That pity pot is good for a wallow now and then, in fact, it helps release all those emotions that have been building. I think its healthy and I give you full permission to wallow when needed. :)

    Now those me they have that solid, reflective surface and the colour is divine. I know what you mean about alla prima, sometimes its works, sometimes it makes you tear your hair out and create mud. This is not mud. Sign it. Sell it.

  3. You did such an amazing job on that earthenware glaze, Suz! Sometimes you just know that a couple share an unparalleled love. For that I am envious, Suz. I believe there will be many millions of tears of shed but I am so grateful you've had such a wonderful marriage and relationship with Tim. And even in those tears, I'll bet Tim is hugging you through.

  4. If I had painted this I'd be SO happy!!! If only I could match your talents!!! I can't think why you don't like it??? Nope - I'm puzzled!
    It must be tough, those dates - anniversaries, birthdays, Christmas's... Yes, those times must bring it bubbling right back up to the surface again... I want to give you a hug, but I can't reach, so it will have to be a cyber hug - But that surely proves that just because you can't feel Tim's arms around you, doesn't mean that they are not... You can't feel mine, can you? But I definitely gave you a hug... So of course Tim's are around you all the time - Trust that :0)

  5. Suz, I'd know your work anywhere. It stands out. Love the arrangement of these mugs. I can feel the weight of their thickness ...see their creamy-slick pottery surface. You rock!

  6. I agree with Jeanette, sometimes you have to visit the "pity pot" just to get on with it afterward. And please sharing that "wallowing" can be a necessary thing as well.
    I like those mugs and knew they were yours as soon as I saw the thumbnail.
    (Playing hooky from painting like playing hooky from school just may be a life requirement, too.)

  7. Hi Suz. I love the warm colors in this and the illusion of really receding back on the upper left. I was surprised to see it was all done on such a small format! Amazing. It's a wonderful painting. I like your still life work a lot. Well done.

    Chin up sweetie. Blue skies will be here again.

  8. My dear Gunkie, that was not fair at all - a double whammy!!! But they happen, and you are certainly entitled to feel low.
    But those cups - I would be thrilled if I had painted them, and you know what a perfectionist I am. :)
    I am sending you a big hug and a lot of positive vibes. Get ready ... here they come ...

  9. Hi Suz
    We came to visit---- and now we see we have been missing out on the fun stuff you can turn to magic- like these cups! We think they are amazing!

    We also wanted to say we understand all your saying- and feeling,,,
    and your wings are helping you every day. Sometimes wings get wet and need to rest in the sun--- so its all okay..

  10. Good Morning Suz!... Sorry to hear that you "are down in yer cups"... not an uncommon feeling where deep grief and loss is concerned. It is like fog really. It "tippy toes in on kitty cat feet" and quite literally overwhelms and paralyzes all feeling.

    That numbness will pass... the "wings will indeed dry"...if "You" seek out a sunny spot... and simply rest... as Tweedles so wisely and lovingly suggests! This too... shall pass with Time!

    My thoughts and love are with you!
    Hugs!...n Warmest regards,

    PS I give a HUGE "thumbs up"... to these cups!

  11. You are one of my favourite artists and I always get inspired when I see your unique paintings.
    Your writing about where you are at in your life is so moving, be kinder to yourself, you seem to understand yourself and your foibles very well. You have so many followers and friends sending you love and good vibes, which I'm sure will help you through.
    Hugs xxx

  12. Oh, please love this and your talents as much as I do! these are butterscotch cups of love! Golden, rich and beautiful. Thanks for sharing.

  13. I'm sorry you went through a bad patch, but the good news is you worked our way through it. It is understandable that important dates, especially your anniversary, would bring you to your knees. I am proud of you for digging your way out each time this happens.


  14. These glowing stoneware mugs are splendid, Suzanne! But I very much know that feeling of not being comfortable with laying down the alla prima stuff. I've been trying to paint more that way and use lots of juicy paint but .... ack! .... it is a mess for me most of the time.

    And I guess I've caught a bit of the Dread Mahockiss bug myself. It feels a lot like an identity crisis to me! (Do I even know how to paint? At all? And if I could remember how, then what should I paint? What colors to use? How thick? On what? What size?) Ack... again. Friends tell me that it means I'm on the verge of something good. I sure hope so.

  15. I actually love these cups... look again... maybe you will too... such simple elegance... :)

  16. Oh Suz...I can't even imagine : ( You know I was at a book arts festival a while back and bought a print that I had seen the year before - and it stuck with me all this time so I thought I'd better buy it. It says:
    Ain't no shame in holding onto grief
    As long as you make room for other things too
    (Bubbles, The Wire, c.5 v.9)
    That just resonated with me. xo


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