Thursday, April 24, 2014


Asparagus (detail)

Well, at least I'm back to work! Last Saturday I was puttering about the kitchen and suddenly felt the urge to paint! Just like that! So weird. Before that I couldn't even consider going in there, actually thought for a bit that I would take a break just to see what happened. I'm glad it's back....whatever it is. Muse, Springtime, healthy eating, more wine...whatever...I'm just happy to feel that yearning again.

But it wasn't a bad thing this time...not wanting to work. I figure that these lapses happen for a reason so I did what Eckhart Tolle suggested and embraced it. Didn't fret or complain. At least I don't think so. Took a while to feel comfortable again though. I figured I'd jump back on the Sparrow's Ass...Berry speak for asparagus... and I'm glad I did. 

It's like a giant puzzle, painting the pieces, trying to make them fit. Warm highlight, cool shadows, step back and it works! Sometimes. This is definitely the kind of piece that can become like a meditation. Just keep going because it's endless. I thought I was almost finished when I last worked on it but I found that certainly was not the case. I'm enjoying myself and have stopped trying to paint like someone else. Thank you for the support, I appreciate it so much. If the painterly quality is there, it will come out. I'm tired of not being grateful for what I can do. It's a silly waste of time...she said knowing she'll never be satisfied.

and now for the....


It was April 6th, a Sunday afternoon. As I've previously shared, I sometimes allow weekends for me to suck and so, not surprisingly, I found myself giving in and preparing to attend another pity party. It'd been a while since I'd heard from him...well maybe three weeks or so...and those feelings of being disconnected were collecting on my horizon, so I quietly asked him for a visit and made every attempt to cancel my planned attendance to the "woe is me" shindig.

The next morning I woke up and found an email from a dear friend featuring a snap of an absolutely fantastic, all-type design of the song title "You Are My Sunshine".  A friend of hers had created the design and she wanted to share it with me because she thought it was so well done. This song title shows up very often for me in one form or another since Tim left, so seeing the artwork sparked a giggle and some relief because, and I know Tim won't be pleased that I'm sharing this, we used to sing that song to each other constantly. Sorry honey, sappy and very uncool, but happily, very true.

Being intrinsically self-centered and in need of a sign, I decided it was his way of letting me know he was near using my dear friend as a conduit. Yeah, I know. This really smacks of thinking everything is about moi, however in this instance, I'm gifting myself a rather hefty pass. Later I thought it might be a bit of a stretch, however, I decided that since Tim told both notable mediums to tell me that whenever I think it's him, that it is him, why not embrace it and be happy.

Later that day, still nursing the need to climb into the pot, pity that is, I went upstairs early to get lost in television again. I channel surfed for a few and landed on a documentary that I'd seen before, and really enjoyed, detailing one of the historic dives to the wreck of the Titanic. As I settled in to watch I began paging through a magazine on my lap and casually glanced up at the screen. It took a moment to register but I recognized a very familiar form, did a double take and looked again, thinking I was surely seeing things!

For a few seconds I wondered why the screen saver snaps of Tim were there but I realized I'd never seen this photo of him and then it dawned on me that it wasn't my snaps but the documentary I'd just decided to watch! I stared at the screen in disbelief and grabbed my iPad and began pausing and snapping until the scene changed. In the snaps shown above the two men are discussing the blue prints of the wreck and the man on the right, in the red shirt with the pony tail, is the spitting image of Timothy Francis Berry as he looked from behind!!!

I couldn't believe it! I was elated! I kept rewinding to that portion and re-watching, blinking my eyes in total disbelief at what I saw. I decided to send one of the snaps to a few friends and some family to see if I might possibly be, again, loosing my stuff. One friend called me as soon as he saw it and before I even said hello he asked, rather put out...'when was Tim in a documentary about the Titanic and why didn't you mention it before now???'

I received other very positive responses of disbelief from close friends and family. And even though I've shared more than a few photos of Tim here, I certainly don't expect anyone who didn't know him personally to recognize the uncanny resemblance, however I had to share this stunning "coincidence" with you! I'm embracing this even if it is an incredible coincidence. The strange thing is that from the front this dude looks nothing like Tim, but from behind, every detail is him!! He even owned a shirt identical to the one he's wearing! And again, right after I asked him for a visit or a sign!

I know I've mentioned that I wanted to begin keeping these visits and messages to myself, I don't want to appear desperate or a little loopy, however this one was just too incredible not to share and besides, it's show and tell proof! Proof that I either saw a man on television that from behind looked exactly like Tim, which is just fine with me or he's sending me support and love using the television again!

He loves to do that!


  1. Oh those asparagus look delicious enough to throw in a pot...right now! Yummy work, Suz! If it helps, I too thought that it was Tim from the back view and right down to the glasses. I was surprised to read that it was not!

  2. The event with the TV show about the Titanic is truly eerie, Suz! When I first saw the photos, without having read your description, I thought you were showing photos of "himself" at work on some project - it looks so much like photos of Tim I have seen here. Time for Rod Serling with a background of Twilight Zone theme music ...
    And you sparrow's ass is SUPERB!!!
    The Other Gunkie XOXO

  3. Ahhh, yes...the Sparrow's Ass Meditation...I've heard of it. Very Zen. ;o)
    Glad you're enjoying it...and the continued closeness with Tim.

  4. WOW! what a post, Suzanne! and it certainly looks like Tim from all the photos we saw of him! Yes, I would take it as a sign! and of course, the asparagus is painted so beautifully! I love all those purples and blues!!

  5. I'm not exactly sure what you mean by 'painterly', but your painting is obviously rooted in excellent drawing skills with great observational color handling. This is a beautiful work... just wondering if, by the way you wrote here, that you were seeking a particular technique other than what you actually painted? If so, why seek something 'painterly' when the idea behind a work, or it's technical excellence in drawing/color allows the painting to stand alone as a beautiful work that only your hand could produce. I'm really just trying to wrap my head around what is the reason for 'painterly'.. what is the desire for a certain 'look' - be it on-trend or not... ?

    And feel free to ignore all of this if I have mis-read your words and intentions.

    1. Thank you Ester!!! I've just been schooled! and so nicely! I really appreciate your comments and will take them to heart and the studio!

  6.'ve done a wonderful job on this. I love your style. No need to change....

    The things we least understand.. I think when we learn how to see and how to take notice...we realize that our loved ones aren't far. The trick is learning how to live our lives with this new reality..

    The timing if these gifts is what is important... I didn't know Tim, but I recognize the similarity, and I recognize the timing of this gift.

  7. Sweet Suz,
    We love your painting of the ass paaragus!!! Its so you- and that's what we love is you- the way 'you' paint! Its gorgeous.. and your right-- its meditative,!

    The photos you shared-- moms and me thought for sure its Angel Tim,, infact we get a special feeling when looking at it,,, Yes,, its like a gift,.,, its a touch!
    Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us! Thank you for trusting us!
    We love you
    your tweedles

  8. Add to the fact that the man looks like Tim....they are also "diving" after something they hold in the highest esteem. The message can also be about that...about going after what you know is there, beneath the surface. I hope you'll always share these things with us (though I certainly understand that some people will have ideas about how "different" it is to seek signs. You'll just have to ignore them!) I love the new painting. It is sublime. Wonder where Tim will be next ? :)

  9. I am SO glad you have got your MOJO back! I was planning to email you again soon with a friendly boot in the butt!! You belong behind that Easel, so limber up those brushes and get painting! And Tim is always going to be around one way or another. You can't just fall off the planet you know! And he is alive, just on a different level. Accept it, embrace it and make sure you live your life while you are here the way he would want you to xx

  10. Love this Sparrow's Ass with all those beautiful lavenders, greens and blues. Perfection!

  11. Just love this painting. The colors are amazing. Just beautiful. I didn't know Tim, but when I saw the photo I truly thought that was your Tim. How wonderful for you.

  12. How can asparagus be so beautiful !?? just amazing.

  13. I remember the first asparagus and knowing it was a challenging painting that you worked wonders on. This newest version is even better. It has a glow of life to it and the colours and shapes are perfection.

    Tim always comes through for you, but you know he will, by showing you glimpses and sending reassurances in places that you never consider looking. Yes, it does look like him from behind from the images you've shown previously, quite uncanny.

    Of course there will be naysayers, but they're not in your shoes and can't know the connection or need. Look for the signals and they will be there when you need them most. As Tim proves over and over.

  14. I did not know asparagus could be so darn BEAUTIFUL! This painting should be adorning the walls of le Cordon Bleu culinary school in France.
    And I loved reading your story about Tim. S touching I am happy for you, Suz.

  15. Asparagus that dances! What's not to love!

  16. Love asparagus, love your asparagus painting. Is this another large painting?
    Happy to hear the muse is back Suzanne. She works in strange ways. The Titanic documentary (and the Tim coincidence)... a sign maybe? Would He be telling you to get back to work?....

    Keep painting...

  17. Wow! Love the amount of detail that you were able to capture with those asparagus's. Very nice work!

  18. Love the colors of this and love hearing the deep connections. Hugs.

  19. Hey there! This painting is wonderful , no surprise there. You are just an amazing artist, never doubt that. I am so pleased to read about your sign, I really think if we aren't open to those things we miss them. Glad you've got those brushes wet again. Hugs

  20. You are so talented and this painting is beautiful! I'm glad you're painting again! Thank you for sharing about the periods of time that it is hard to get into the studio and paint. I have phases like that, too, in fact I'm going through it right now!

  21. What a delicious painting on several levels, Suzanne! Well-done.

  22. your asparagus, plus your wonderful story.... Amazing !! love to read your words and look upon your beautiful images... you have a gift, indeed !

  23. Another amazing post from you Suz. The painting is pure excellence and the photo of 'Tim' is amazing. I always find inspiration when I come to your site and this visit is no exception. As I begin to find my way back into my art with some difficulty I made the decision not to force things along too much but to keep it simple and easy and just enjoy making marks on paper again. And then I discover your words "
    Took a while to feel comfortable again ..." and they acted as confirmation to me that it's the right approach. Thank you. ;-)


Your visits to my blog and the comments you leave here are an integral part of my creative process. They are helpful, supportive and well, let's face it, they feel really good! If I don't thank you personally, please allow me to thank you in advance for taking the time to stop by and leave your thoughts, they mean so much!